Awesome Low Carb Recipe: Beef Fried Rice (Cauliflower)

This is probably my fifth time around on the Atkins Diet.  And as it is every time I actually stick to it,* it is working. I've lost 15 pounds in five weeks. As usual, I lost five pounds the first week, five the second, and then it took three weeks for the next 5. It could take three more to see a full 20, which is my goal.**  But I'll get there for sure, because this time around, I'm getting very creative.

I already know many of the tricks:

- Pepperoni, olives, pickles, cheeses, boiled eggs, sunflower seeds, low-sugar beef jerky, almonds and pumpkin seeds all make great snacks, in moderation.
- Soups that are low-carb ready are easy to make and hard to goof up (see hamburger and chicken soup recipes).
- Low-carb variations of pizzas, tuna melts and my obscure favorite, school cafeteria ranchburgers can be made using low-carb tortillas and breads that are much tastier than in the early days of Atkins.
- These and many other tips are covered here.

Cheesy Baked Fauxtatoes
I've started getting creative this go-around. I'd already made "mashed fauxtatoes" out of cauliflower (which is steamed and mashed cauliflower with butter, garlic, and whatever spices make you happy), and it's okay. But not great. I wanted some recipes that were either good or near great. I'm not expecting the world here, but I very nearly got it with my Cheesy Baked Fauxtatoes. I've already run the recipe twice, I'm so in love with it.

But you know how it is. I wanted more. I've experimented with radishes (fried, with onions and bacon). Passable, not terrific. I've experimented with flax seed meal, to pretty great effect. Flax seed bread is so much better than soy flour breads. I've tried it with garlic and cheese, but I haven't improved that one enough to share yet. So I went back to cauliflower. What if I grated it into a rice-like consistency, and tried to make a Asian-type dish with it?

It's awesome.

Beef Fried Faux Rice & Stir Fry
Click to embiggen.
Low-Carb Beef Faux Fried Rice

Small/medium cauliflower head
Soy sauce
1/2-package of Steak-Ums (or other meat)
Chopped onions (or green onion or chives or shallots)
2 eggs
Olive oil

Use food processor or cheese grater to reduce cauliflower head to rice-sized pieces. Set aside.

Beat two eggs in a bowl. Set aside.

Pour some olive oil in a big, flat skillet, and get it hot. Toss in whatever onions you like, and some garlic. I just put a dash of this and that, whatever seems like it would be good. Toss in the Steak-um product (chopped up), or chunks of chicken or pork, or whatever meat you want to use. Just about anything would work. Stir it around for a few minutes until meat is cooked. Drain.

Stir in cauliflower. Keep the fire hot, stirring a lot. When it looks like it's starting to brown, sprinkle in however much soy sauce you want. Scoot the mixture to one side of the skillet, then pour the eggs onto the empty side. Scramble the eggs, and then stir together with the "rice" mixture. You can continue to cook if you think it's necessary. Give it a taste, you decide.

I also put oil in a second skillet at the same time, and did some stir-fry vegetables, also with some soy sauce. It was awesome. Did it taste or feel exactly like rice? No. Did it taste like cauliflower? No. But was it even a hint of "Atkins blah?" No. It's very, very good. When taking my finished bowl back to the kitchen, I actually picked around the skillet for more morsels.

I should note that this recipe is cobbled from several I read online. It doesn't crib from any one in particular. And I added my own touches. Feel free to take mine, and do what you want with it!

* And by stick to it, I mean that I do the 20 grams of carbs induction phase, move to the slightly more carbs second phase, and if my weight plateaus, I schedule a "cheat day," and then go right back on induction. This works. 

** While a total of 20 pounds lost would be great, and puts me in the "normal" range, it also puts me at 160 pounds--my 30-year-old self's fat weight. If I could get my 5-8½" body down to 155, 150, dare I say it, 145 or below? That would be awesome to do without a major illness! But 160 or slightly less would be a victory.